Not wanting to do something that we have to do.
An escape from consequences.
We love to create all kinds of worse case scenarios for the way that things will turn out, so we can avoid doing things that we don’t want to do.
We dream up terrible outcomes. We imagine bad endings. We create all sorts of evidence why avoiding the situation makes perfect sense. Then we distract. We procrastinate. And we resist wanting the thing that we have worked so hard to avoid going after.
The negative self-talk begins and all sorts of feelings emerge. These are usually, the not-so-great feelings, like frustration, guilt, disappointment, worry. Each of these unsettling feelings created, because we decided to avoid doing something we needed / wanted to do.
The truth is that we avoid doing difficult and challenging things because we want to avoid feeling uncomfortable. And yet, when we don’t follow through and take action on things we need to do, we experience all kinds of negative emotions anyway. We trade a potential negative feeling and taking action for wanting to escape a negative feeling, taking no action and feeling negative emotions of avoidance anyway.
So here are my tips on how to move through avoidance.
Identify your WHY. Why do you need to do this thing? Search for the meaning and connect to it. Does it improve your life in some way? Will it have long-term positive consequences if it goes well? Is it about helping someone that you care about? Look at the big picture. If you can’t find and identify the why and stand behind it, then perhaps this thing is something you are doing out of obligation or for the wrong reasons. Make sure you know your WHY. Be truthful and connected to it.
Focus on the positive outcomes. What are all the amazing possible outcomes that can come from taking this action? What is possible? Use your imagination to predict best-case scenarios – let this motivate you in a very powerful way towards making decisions and taking action.
Be willing to sit with negative emotion. Accept that negative feelings are going to come up. Knowing ahead of time, that negative emotions will show up as guilt, regret, disappointment and worry if you don’t take the action that you need to. Understand that taking action may trigger discomfort, fear, embarrassment for you. Be ready for those feelings. Expect them. Welcome the uncomfortable into your life, because it means that you are doing something challenging / difficult and moving closer towards something you want. Be willing to feel your uncomfortable feelings and take action anyway. It is best way to move closer towards the things that you want in your life.