I think that most of us would think of ourselves as someone’s best friend. We might describe ourselves as loyal, trustworthy, compassionate, understanding and supportive. As a best friend, we show up, no questions asked, when we are needed. We laugh together, cry together and offer advice and give tough love when it is required.
Becoming a best friend to someone can take years of investing in the relationship. It takes consistency. It takes attention and focus. It means, giving unconditional love. It means, less judgement and more compassion. It means forgiveness and understanding. Being a best friend is about allowing space in the relationship to evolve and grow over time.
In my experience, this is what I believe it takes to be a best friend. It is a privilege. It is rewarding and fulfilling. And it feels amazing to have this type of relationship with someone that you care about.
Imagine for a moment, what it would be like to be this kind of best friend to yourself. To show up for YOU every day, like you would for your best friend. To love yourself unconditionally through any situation. Doesn’t that sound incredible?
For most of us, being our own best friend sounds incredible and feels absolutely impossible. Mostly because, it never occurs to us, to treat ourselves the way we would treat our best friend.
And why is that?
How is it that we have invested years of attention, time and growth into our best friend relationships and yet, we still haven’t figured out how to have an amazing best friend relationship with ourselves?
Simply put, I believe that we think, that it is someone else’s job to be our best friend. We believe that other people make us feel loved, trusted, cared for or supported. We think these best friend kind of feelings (and all other feelings) come from outside of us. We teach ourselves to rely on others to make us feel a certain way.
The truth is, that we create our own feelings 100% of the time – without exception. This is powerful information. And such good news because it means that we create what we feel all the time. If we want to feel supported, loved, trusted – we can treat ourselves that way, right now. We can choose to show up for ourselves the way that we would for our best friend. We can treat ourselves with kindness, compassion and love. We can release judgement, shame and guilt.
I talk about this concept of being your own best friend with my clients all the time, because I believe this to be the most powerful way to add more love in your life. I teach them to think about how they can choose to feel loyalty, by having loyalty to ourselves and our decisions. I teach them that they can feel and experience commitment by keeping our commitments and promises to ourselves. And that to experience more self-love and compassion, means having your own back, every time, no matter what.
Imagine how amazing your life would be if you decided to be your own best friend!
What can do to start treating yourself like you treat your best friend?
How would you make decisions, show up and act if you chose to love yourself unconditionally?
There is no downside to loving yourself more!
So why not go into this week, loving yourself like you love your best friend?
Offer yourself more kindness, compassion and love this week – with your words, your thoughts and actions. See how amazing it will make you feel!