How Commitment Makes Your Dreams Come True

commitment

Every day, I get to talk to the most amazing women.

Hard-working. Smart. Devoted. Funny. Accomplished. Generous Women.

Who each have a desire to do big things in their lives.

They can’t wait to tell me about what they really want. They talk about their dreams in full detail. And how much happier they will be on the other side of achieving these dreams.

As they talk, their energy and excitement amplify. They have rehearsed this exact conversation about their dreams so many times.

And despite all their differences in age, marital status, professions, income, geographic location – we often arrive at the exact same place in our conversation.

I say – “Are you ready to commit to making this happen?”

They say – “Well, I’m not sure if I’m ready to commit right now…but I’m definitely really interested in pursuing it someday.”

Interested.

Oh…ok. Great.

Another dream bites the dust.

Here’s what “being interested” really means.

It means a slow surrender and the painful death of a dream.

“Interested” sounds really good. But it requires no real effort or action.

It’s like dipping your big toe in the water and never jumping in.

It’s like taking one baby step and then stopping in that place and staying there forever.

“Interested” is the same as “hoping” – and you know how I feel about “hoping”. It’s Passive. Safe. Risk-free.

Default Living.

Waiting for someday.

Keep the status quo.

At this point in our conversation, I often encourage my clients to just say no to their dream now. I explain how it is much better, in the long run, to kill it quickly and move on, then to stay “interested” and 1/2 committed forever.

Wait. What?

I know that “interested” pretends to feel like positive momentum in creating the dream, but it’s actually just a stall tactic.

We stall out when we anticipate fear, failure, risk, and change.

And yet, real dreams are born out of fear, failure, risk, and change. It’s part of the deal.

“Interested” saps energy. Creates distraction. It keeps all the options open. Nothing ever gets accomplished. Someday gets pushed out further and further into the future.

Got a big dream? I say, throw everything you’ve got at it, now.

Go all in. Move from interested to committed.

Take those baby steps towards what you want and don’t stop until you have it.

Dip all your toes in the water, then both feet, both legs, your whole body and start swimming until you reach your destination.

Yes, there will be fear and some failures – setbacks, and changes. And there is a high likelihood that you will achieve that dream. That dream will become your future reality.

Commitment makes it possible. Interest will not.

Are you a woman with an amazing dream?

Then, go get it!

Do you want to go from interested to committed? Why not, schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session and we can talk about what’s getting in your way and holding you back. This no-obligation conversation could be just what you need to set yourself free. Book your session today!

The Upside of Risk-Taking

risk-taking

Some people are great at risk-taking. They thrive on pursuing what they want, despite big challenges or even danger.

Trying new things seems to come more easily to them. They appear to be fearless. Uber confident. Or completely insane.

They seem care-free and unburdened. Always up for an adventure. Completely willing to try new things.

And always answering, “YES!!!! Let’s do this!”

I used to admire and simultaneously fear risk-takers.

Who are these people? I wondered.
What did they I have that I didn’t have?
Was it a special gene that I just wasn’t born with?

Where does that all that fearlessness come from?

I always knew that had a tiny risk-taker inside of me.

But I also learned how to silence her.

She was inconvenient. Restless and unpredictable. She wanted to mess with my perfectly thoughtful and careful planning.

How dare her?

I wanted to be in control.
And to stay safe.
Numb the fear.
Danger was to be avoided at all costs, no matter what.

But, here’s what I have learned about safety and fear and danger.

Safety is easy. Fear is necessary. And danger is a myth.

The truth is that there’s very little in our everyday lives, that is actually dangerous.

We have homes. And clothes to keep us warm. There is more than enough food to eat. There is clean water. We have heat, drug stores, phones, and jobs. We have education, pets to love, medicine and bank accounts.

We are safer than we think.

Now that’s not to say that a lot of things feel huge and scary and totally impossible, but this is different than dangerous.

Fear trips us up all the time. Our brains get super confused by fear.

Our ‘fight or flight brains’ try to tell us that everything is DANGEROUS and that we must avoid, stay away and protect against danger and the possibility of suffering harm or injury.

Fear is necessary. For growth and change and evolution.
And fear does mean the same thing as danger.

Fear is an emotion. Plain and simple. Fear is a vibration that passes through our bodies that usually feels uncomfortable. Despite what we believe, there is no physical harm with feeling the emotion of fear.

And yet, fear is the biggest excuse we use to not take risks, make a change, pursue a dream, to fall in love, to make more money, to follow our passion.

We also use the excuse of fear justify procrastination, over-eating, avoiding, complaining, gossiping, self-doubt and indecision.

SAFETY FIRST.

Stay comfortable. Stay familiar. Stay predictable.

Everything that we really want is just on the other side of fear.

The best way I know to work with fear in pursuit of growth and change is to acknowledge that fear is necessary and danger is a myth.
Fearlessness takes practice.
The best way to practice is to challenge yourself to do something uncomfortable.
Dare yourself. Unleash your inner risk-taker.
It bolsters self-confidence and courage, which builds the muscle of working with fear in your future.

Everything that you really want is on the other side of fear and fear is just an emotion. Feeling the emotion of fear is not dangerous.

Make a sales call.
Ask for raise.
Schedule some time for yourself.
Go to an event, alone.
Say no.
Sign up for a class.
Start the first chapter of your book.
Say, I love you, first.
Volunteer to speak in public.
End a toxic relationship.

Notice how these things are not dangerous. They are just tasks that seem hard because of an uncomfortable feeling. Don’t let your brain fool you. It wants to protect you from danger.

I want you to have what you want and not to let a little fear get in your way of having it.

I want you to say “YES! Let’s do this!”

Set your inner risk-taker free. I dare you!

Do you want to explore the idea of setting your inner risk-taker free? Why not, schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session and we can talk about what’s getting in your way and holding you back. This no-obligation conversation could be just what you need to set yourself free. Book your session today!