Let Go Of Tolerations.

self-care

Many of us have learned how to live with settling and suffering. We forget that suffering is optional and that we all have the ability to end our own suffering by giving up the things we tolerate and put up with in our lives. Whether it’s tolerating a difficult relationship, lack of money, a messy home, a bad job or just living a life that is not desirable, we all do it to some degree.

WHAT ARE YOU TOLERATING?

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Do you procrastinate on small tasks like clearing the clutter at home or getting organized at work?
  • Do you postpone making important appointments for yourself?
  • Are you tolerating being too busy to make time to be with your friends?
  • Are you postponing doing things that you know would contribute to your happiness or success?
  • Are you tolerating a relationship that makes you feel stuck?

When you put off a task that could easily or even not so easily be accomplished, it only prolongs the inevitable and then it starts to feel like an awful chore. Something that could be taken care of in less than fifteen minutes – like booking a doctor’s appointment – turns into an all-day process because it becomes a constant, all day long distraction. Your thoughts return to it over and over. You sit down to do one thing and your mind drifts back to making that appointment. When we postpone and procrastinate, we sabotage everything else we do. We tell ourselves all kinds of reasons why we can’t make the doctor’s appointment. We make excuses. We make ourselves feel guilty or badly for not following through. We create our own suffering, again.

When these burdens accumulate, you give them power to completely overwhelm you. An abundance of toleration and distractions keeps you from taking action in all areas of your life and towards your true goals. Having too much to do frequently leads to stagnation because it becomes hard to decide where to start. I want to share with you that today is the perfect day to begin taking action and to stop tolerating.

This week, think about the things you’re tolerating in your life and write them down. Decide to eliminate one toleration now. You will feel relief instantly and will free up your thoughts and energy to focus on the bigger tasks in your day. Go into the rest of your week deciding to eliminate a small toleration every day. When you remove tolerations and distractions, you open yourself up to the possibility of doing more of the things you love. You will choose action and results over procrastination and suffering. You will build momentum giving up small tolerations, to then eventually take action on your bigger tolerations. You’ll be amazed at how good it feels and how empowering this sense of accomplishment can be.

Giving Credit

Have you been able to spend any time reflecting on your significant accomplishments from the last 2 1/2 months? No? Me neither. Until this week. Because I had this craving to take stock of what was happening in my life.

I sat down with my calendar and my journal and decided to review each day since 1/1/2016.

Yes, there were some big milestones in this last couple of months. Tests passed. Coaching certification earned. 2 trips to California. New coaching programs created. Workshops held. Medals won by my daughter at skating competitions. Projects completed. A 7th grade play. A picture on Facebook that told the world who I had fallen in love with.

A whole lot of amazing accomplishments.

But what fascinated me more were the small wins that weren’t captured in any notebook or day planner. There were so many other things to give myself credit for – subtle, small and quieter accomplishments that only I would know about. These, of course, are so easy to overlook because they are ‘inside jobs’ – not ‘the obvious to everyone else kind of accomplishments’. So, I went back through all those same days again, eyes closed and reflected on everything else that I done since the new year.

There was only one time that I had a fight with my daughter in the morning before school!

I gave up drinking for 30 days just to see what it would be like and it felt good!

I started believing that I could be a coach who could also help my clients with emotional eating!

I took a leadership role in my family where I normally would have taken a back seat!

I spent a lot of February feeling completely doubtful about my abilities and I asked for help with that!

I signed up for a 7 day cleanse and absolutely hated it and it taught me so much about my relationship with the food that makes my body not feel good!

I kept a lot of commitments to myself about how I would act, what I would say and how I would listen!

Wow. I was proud. And to think that I almost missed all of this beauty and growth because it hadn’t captured my attention in an ‘obvious and big accomplishment way’. Just because I hadn’t talked about these things with others didn’t mean that I didn’t deserve to give myself credit for them.

What would it be like for you to do this same exercise? What would you learn about yourself? What would you celebrate and give yourself credit for? How might it motivate you in the months ahead? No one but you, knows all that you do. Take a moment to connect with yourself about that. Gather up all the evidence of where you are doing small yet significant ‘inside jobs’. And celebrate it.