Over and Under

This time of year is both joyous and overwhelming. Filled with traditions and events that we look forward to all year and other obligations that we are less fond of and perhaps, actually dread. We know what’s coming for us. A little celebrating and a whole lot of guilt. A little cheer and connection and a whole lot of negative self talk. A little gift exchanging and a whole lot of time spent minding other people’s business and worrying about being judged.

It’s like we loose track of ourselves during this time of year. We forget to have our own backs. The focus and self control that we possessed for most of the year is now suddenly, gone. Right out the window. We look the other way, instead of right in the mirror. We forget to hold steady. We go Over and we go Under.

We over-promise.
We over-eat.
We over-extend.
We over-spend.
We over-drink.
We under-exercise.
We under-rest.
We under-say no.
We under-mind our own business.
We under-check in with our own thoughts.


Who says it has to go this same way every year?

What if instead, we started each day for the rest of this month asking ourselves…how do I want to feel today? I doubt that any of us would answer that question with – I want to feel broke, hungover and exhausted!


This is a completely reasonable question to ask oneself – how do I want to feel today?

I try to do this every day and I hold myself extra accountable this time of year. I get very clear about how I want to feel, every day. I want to know exactly when I want to hold steady and what that feeling state means for me. I take action from that desired feeling state. I say no from that desired feeling state. I have my own back from that feeling state.

If I choose to go Over and Under, I am feeling Over-joyed and Under-stressed. Over-connected to myself and Under-obligated to things that do not serve me. It’s deliberate. It’s intentional. It’s self care without being selfish. And, it is the greatest gift that I could possibly give myself and others in my life.

Why I stopped believing in Plan B

For the longest time I thought that I always needed a backup plan. Otherwise known as Plan B. You know, the thing that you will do when the thing that you really want doesn’t work out.

I thought that having a Plan B was….

being smart

being careful

being prepared

having options

creating a safety net

The problem was that having a Plan B always led to having a Plan C which eventually led to a Plan D and so on….

I woke up one day to realize that I had veered really far off-course. I was living the backup plan to the backup plan. What the?

I have come to understand that when you constantly think about Plan B, then you are robbing your Plan A of the energy, commitment and focus that it requires to come true. Your Plan A never stands a chance when it is competing for your attention with Plan B. Plan A get sabotaged with fear and worry when we believe that we need a Plan B waiting in the wings.

I have made the decision that now there is only Plan A. There is no other option. Only Plan A gets the spotlight and all my attention.

I eat Plan A for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plan A is the song that is stuck in my head. It’s the first thing that I think of when I wake up and the last thing that I think of before I go to sleep. I tell those closest to me about my Plan A, so they will help hold me accountable to my dream. I never invite Plan B to the party.

Identifying Plan A takes tremendous work, focus and effort.

It means risking and revealing who we really are.

It takes courage and total commitment.

It means being ‘all in’.

When we go ‘all in’, we are fully aligned with what we desire. From that place of desire, we will take deliberate and intentional action towards realizing our dream.

The result? Plan A every time.