The Upside of Risk-Taking

risk-taking

Some people are great at risk-taking. They thrive on pursuing what they want, despite big challenges or even danger.

Trying new things seems to come more easily to them. They appear to be fearless. Uber confident. Or completely insane.

They seem care-free and unburdened. Always up for an adventure. Completely willing to try new things.

And always answering, “YES!!!! Let’s do this!”

I used to admire and simultaneously fear risk-takers.

Who are these people? I wondered.
What did they I have that I didn’t have?
Was it a special gene that I just wasn’t born with?

Where does that all that fearlessness come from?

I always knew that had a tiny risk-taker inside of me.

But I also learned how to silence her.

She was inconvenient. Restless and unpredictable. She wanted to mess with my perfectly thoughtful and careful planning.

How dare her?

I wanted to be in control.
And to stay safe.
Numb the fear.
Danger was to be avoided at all costs, no matter what.

But, here’s what I have learned about safety and fear and danger.

Safety is easy. Fear is necessary. And danger is a myth.

The truth is that there’s very little in our everyday lives, that is actually dangerous.

We have homes. And clothes to keep us warm. There is more than enough food to eat. There is clean water. We have heat, drug stores, phones, and jobs. We have education, pets to love, medicine and bank accounts.

We are safer than we think.

Now that’s not to say that a lot of things feel huge and scary and totally impossible, but this is different than dangerous.

Fear trips us up all the time. Our brains get super confused by fear.

Our ‘fight or flight brains’ try to tell us that everything is DANGEROUS and that we must avoid, stay away and protect against danger and the possibility of suffering harm or injury.

Fear is necessary. For growth and change and evolution.
And fear does mean the same thing as danger.

Fear is an emotion. Plain and simple. Fear is a vibration that passes through our bodies that usually feels uncomfortable. Despite what we believe, there is no physical harm with feeling the emotion of fear.

And yet, fear is the biggest excuse we use to not take risks, make a change, pursue a dream, to fall in love, to make more money, to follow our passion.

We also use the excuse of fear justify procrastination, over-eating, avoiding, complaining, gossiping, self-doubt and indecision.

SAFETY FIRST.

Stay comfortable. Stay familiar. Stay predictable.

Everything that we really want is just on the other side of fear.

The best way I know to work with fear in pursuit of growth and change is to acknowledge that fear is necessary and danger is a myth.
Fearlessness takes practice.
The best way to practice is to challenge yourself to do something uncomfortable.
Dare yourself. Unleash your inner risk-taker.
It bolsters self-confidence and courage, which builds the muscle of working with fear in your future.

Everything that you really want is on the other side of fear and fear is just an emotion. Feeling the emotion of fear is not dangerous.

Make a sales call.
Ask for raise.
Schedule some time for yourself.
Go to an event, alone.
Say no.
Sign up for a class.
Start the first chapter of your book.
Say, I love you, first.
Volunteer to speak in public.
End a toxic relationship.

Notice how these things are not dangerous. They are just tasks that seem hard because of an uncomfortable feeling. Don’t let your brain fool you. It wants to protect you from danger.

I want you to have what you want and not to let a little fear get in your way of having it.

I want you to say “YES! Let’s do this!”

Set your inner risk-taker free. I dare you!

Do you want to explore the idea of setting your inner risk-taker free? Why not, schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session and we can talk about what’s getting in your way and holding you back. This no-obligation conversation could be just what you need to set yourself free. Book your session today!

Hope Is Not The GPS For Your Life.

hope

Hope.
It feels good.
It’s optimistic.
It can bring a smile to our faces.
It feels promising.

When we hope, we are on to something.
The thing that we want comes into our sight lines.
It’s out there.
It’s exciting.
It feels possible.

Perhaps.

Maybe it will come true. Fingers crossed. Hope. Hope. Hope.

But sadly and likely, it will not.

Here’s why…

Hope is passive.
It is non-committal.
It is seeing something we want out in our future and observing, waiting, wishing, fingers crossed.

More waiting.
It is watching our lives and feeling good (hoping) versus, rolling up our sleeves and committing to creating our lives, no matter what.

Hope is choosing to ride in the passenger seat of a stranger’s car with your fingers crossed that you will arrive at your desired destination.

Hope is NOT a GPS.

Here’s what else is true…
Hope doesn’t stir up any fear or doubt.
And that’s a problem.
If you want something, the best way to approach having it is to fully commit, even if that commitment scares you to death.
Seriously.

Committing is the opposite of hope.
And it requires making a decision to have what you want, even when you have no idea how to get it.
Committing will trigger fear and doubt. YES!!!!
Committing will mean that you will take massive action to overcome the fear and doubt.
It will likely mean that you will fail (more than once) on your way to achieving that thing that you want.

Failure is good. Lessons learned. An opportunity to take your commitment in a new direction. To keep learning new things. To grow. To evolve.

Committing is driving YOUR car in the direction that you want in – and then consulting your GPS to course-correct your route along the way to get to the desired destination no matter what.

It’s intentioned.
It’s purposeful.
It’s directed.
It’s planned.

Reaching your desired destination is inevitable.
Achieving what you want is inevitable.

Committing feels scary and creates dreams coming true.
Hoping feels good and withholds dreams coming true.

I know which one I choose. Do you?

Explore these questions below to find your answer!

Can you think of a recent example of something that you passively hoped for?
Describe what happened?
Can you think of a recent example of something that you massively committed to?
Exactly what happened?
What was different between these two experiences?
What is something that you are hoping for right now?
Can you turn this hoping into commitment?

If your answer is yes, write down your new commitment.
What is the decision that you need to make to begin working towards your commitment? Now, give yourself no more than 24 hours to make the decision.
Next, write down the action steps that you need to take to start working towards this commitment. What you know right now is perfect. You don’t have to know ‘how’.

Just start here. Jump in the driver’s seat. Turn on your GPS. Start taking action and course-correct as needed.

hope

One action you could take that could be extremely beneficial is to book a FREE Breakthrough Session with me. We can put our two heads together to help you get clear about the commitment you want to make and why. This is a great {no obligation} way to see how coaching can help you solve your toughest challenges and get you heading in the right direction. Book your session today!

Do you want your future or your past?

past

Do you want your future or your past?

It’s an interesting question to consider. And here’s why.

One of the main causes of current problems in our lives is our programming from our past. Our past is where all of our current thinking was learned.

From the time you were young all the way until now, you have adopted beliefs and thought patterns mostly unconsciously. Now as an adult, you may be very skilled at thinking those thoughts without even realizing how they are affecting you.

In fact, some of your past programming is not only creating your current thinking, feeling and action patterns, but it is also controlling your focus.

Often, I will have clients who spend most of their sessions with me talking about their past. They will recall stories from their childhood, things they experienced as young adults, and in previous relationships, etc.

Their past-focused approach prevents them from moving forward. It perpetuates evidence for unconscious programming and doesn’t allow for deeper awareness or more deliberate present thinking.

These clients typically have a hard time dreaming and thinking about the future. Their past programming dominates and distracts any opportunity for exciting change and growth.

Here are some past-focused beliefs that my clients have shared with me:

I am just this kind of person
I’ve never been able to do that
This always happens to me
This is just the way life is
It’s what I’ve always known
It’s never going to change

Most of the time, my clients have no idea that they are so focused on the past.

The tricky part about being past-focused is that they are really good at it because they have been practicing it for many years. It’s such an ingrained way of thinking and they do not even realize that you are doing it.

Besides inhibiting growth, change and even dreaming – past-focused thinking prevents us from trying new things.

When we look to our past for confidence and for evidence we can succeed at something new, we will not be able to find it. We can only find confidence and evidence for the things we are already good at doing.

Confidence can come from new beliefs in new things, not from our past.

We need to tap into the energy of our present and our future in order to create momentum. We dream of something we want by imagining something in our future. Even if we want to recreate something we’ve had in our past, we need to remember it’s a new creation and not a repetition.

If we only look for evidence in the past for our confidence we need to move forward, we may not be able to see the potential for change. When we are in our past-focused loop, we can’t find the solutions.

The solutions are always found in the present by changing our minds about what is possible and what can be different.

When we are past-focused we are stuck in patterns that don’t serve our growth. When we are present and future-focused, we are taking control of our thinking and deciding how to think deliberately moving forward.

One of the best ways to focus your mind on the future is by setting goals and dreaming about you want in the future.

If you are ready to start choosing your future over your past, book a complimentary Breakthrough Session and I will show you how. Let’s talk about the past programming that you are ready to let go in pursuit of a future that you are really excited about.

Denial.

katie pulsifer coaching

denial.
de·ni·al
dəˈnīəl/
noun
the action of declaring something to be untrue.
the refusal of something requested or desired.

We all have dreams and desires and I would venture to say that most of us try to keep them a secret. We are afraid to share what we really want because of fear, self-consciousness or perhaps the belief that what we most want isn’t realistic. We keep our dreams and desires a secret if we think they will make other people uncomfortable, require significant change or cost a lot of money.

When we deny that we have dreams and desires, we settle for living in half-truth. We argue with ourselves about our dreams being frivolous or unnecessary or unproductive or inconvenient. We declare them to be untrue, just so they will stop distracting us. We refuse to acknowledge that they live inside of us. We work hard to make them go away by trying to ignore that they exist.

Sometimes when I ask people what they deeply desire, they can often become very quiet. They will say something like, “I really don’t know – I haven’t really ever thought about it.”

I believe that it’s not that they haven’t thought about their desires as much as they’ve just become disconnected from them because they have become habituated to ignoring them. They have fallen into a pattern of denying what they most want.

When I try to inquire a little further, I always hear the various reasons that have prevented their dreams and desires from becoming reality –
“I don’t have time”
“What I want just doesn’t work for my family”
“I can’t start over”
“It’s not practical”
“They will never understand”
“I can’t afford it”

Hearing these reasons always hurts my heart a little because I know that these are all just excuses. Excuses to keep their dreams and desires locked up. Excuses to avoid the potential fear of claiming what you want. Excuses to steer clear of the potential judgement that you might experience. These excuses perpetuate in a cycle of denial. These excuses keep your dreams and desires just out of reach but close enough to create the discontentedness, pain and frustration that many people feel when they have a secret – an unfulfilled dream or desire.

What is it that you keep thinking and dreaming about?

Is there something your soul has been burning to do, be, or offer, that keeps trying to get your attention?

What is your secret dream or desire?

How would your life change right now, if you decided to shine light on your inner secret desire?

What would happen if you made that desire your top priority and shared it with the rest of the world?

What would be possible for you, if you stop denying yourself what you most want?

In my experience – happiness is what happens! I see it all the time. For the people that pursue their desires and stop denying what they truly want – they are rewarded with genuine and authentic happiness. They experience a deep sense of calm and inner connection. They experience the ultimate gift of living in truth. They no longer hide or try to keep secrets from themselves. They no longer say one thing and mean something else. They no longer refuse or deny themselves what they most want.

In choosing their truth – they ultimately choose freedom. Freedom over fear, self-consciousness and other limiting beliefs.

There is a simple exercise that you can do today, to stop denying what you really want and to start experiencing the freedom and happiness that you are craving. Click here for access to the Stop Denying and Start Dreaming worksheet.

Holding Back.

Do you question whether you are holding yourself back in your life?

If you are asking yourself this on a regular basis, then chances are pretty clear that you are.

Remind yourself that now is always the right time, the perfect time to step out of procrastination and into the life that you want. Why? Because, your life is now — not later.

Many people believe that they have to wait for the right time to start, but the truth is that there is always some underlying fear holding them back. If you find yourself waiting for the fear to go away – chances are, you’ll be waiting a long time. Instead, get curious and honest about what fears you may have. Understanding the reasons why you are holding yourself back will empower you, enable you to end it, and let you get back on track.

You can also turn this holding back & procrastination cycle around by identifying your top priorities. Start this week. What matters most to you and why? Then begin to take small steps towards actualizing those priorities. Many small steps can create the greatest impact of change. An just because you don’t know exactly how to start or what to do isn’t the problem. The absence of priorities combined with fear is the problem.  Taking small steps will help you create a path forward. It will allow you to step through your fear and replace procrastination with action.

I cannot stress enough the importance of getting a clear picture of your top priorities and aligning your energy and actions with them. The truth is that you have everything you need to get your life moving forward. Take action and be productive, rather than holding back and waiting.

When I coach clients and help them to reconnect with their true desires, they can instantly get clarity, define their priorities, and move right out of procrastination. When you truly align with what you desire you will be amazed at how resourceful you become.

Consider the reasons holding you back from what you truly want. Ask yourself: Is it fear? Are you happy with your surroundings? Is it your attitude? Are you letting your mood rule your life? Do you know what your priorities are? Once you have pinpointed the problem and gotten clear about what matters most to you, you can move onto creating the solution.

Why I stopped believing in Plan B

For the longest time I thought that I always needed a backup plan. Otherwise known as Plan B. You know, the thing that you will do when the thing that you really want doesn’t work out.

I thought that having a Plan B was….

being smart

being careful

being prepared

having options

creating a safety net

The problem was that having a Plan B always led to having a Plan C which eventually led to a Plan D and so on….

I woke up one day to realize that I had veered really far off-course. I was living the backup plan to the backup plan. What the?

I have come to understand that when you constantly think about Plan B, then you are robbing your Plan A of the energy, commitment and focus that it requires to come true. Your Plan A never stands a chance when it is competing for your attention with Plan B. Plan A get sabotaged with fear and worry when we believe that we need a Plan B waiting in the wings.

I have made the decision that now there is only Plan A. There is no other option. Only Plan A gets the spotlight and all my attention.

I eat Plan A for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plan A is the song that is stuck in my head. It’s the first thing that I think of when I wake up and the last thing that I think of before I go to sleep. I tell those closest to me about my Plan A, so they will help hold me accountable to my dream. I never invite Plan B to the party.

Identifying Plan A takes tremendous work, focus and effort.

It means risking and revealing who we really are.

It takes courage and total commitment.

It means being ‘all in’.

When we go ‘all in’, we are fully aligned with what we desire. From that place of desire, we will take deliberate and intentional action towards realizing our dream.

The result? Plan A every time.

Fear wreaks Havoc

Yesterday, I sent out my weekly motivation email to my subscriber list. It was all about fear – that powerful force that often holds us back from realizing our dreams. The email went out at 8:00 a.m. and by 8:10 when I was putting gas in my car, my best friend texted me and said I had a typo. Ugh. Crap.

I had written “fear reeks havoc” when I actually meant to say “fear wreaks havoc”. Immediately, I could feel THE FEAR start to consume me – the fear of being judged by my subscribers for being careless with my content, or even worse, not being smart. Fear that because I made a mistake, then I couldn’t possibly be perceived as a capable and qualified life coach.

Would people unsubscribe?  

Would they write me off?  

Would I go out of business?

Seriously?
I decided I had a choice. A choice with my thoughts. That in every mistake there is also a lesson and I didn’t have to let THE CRAZY FEAR get the best of me. I texted back my best friend and told her that I had just made a decision – that I decided that I used the word “reek” on purpose. Because fear does reek! It smells horrible! It also tastes horrible, looks horrible and feels horrible!

Fear suffocates dreams. Fear keeps us small and safe. Fear blocks us from having everything that we really desire.

By the time I was finished at the gas station, I had shifted my thoughts from fear and worse case scenario thinking to acceptance and best case scenario thinking. It took less than 5 minutes to make that thought shift. Imagine, if I hadn’t done it? I would have spent the entire day in worry and fear about something that might never happen (being judged, losing subscribers, losing credibility). What a waste of a day that could have been!

I share this as a reminder that we all have the power to manage our thinking. If we let it, fear will come in and try to take over, every time. It will try to mess with our minds, delay our dreams and shut down our desires. I want to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. Every minute of every day – we all get to control our thoughts, which ultimately create our feelings and inspire the actions and results in our lives. We get to choose what we think.

So the next time that you feel THE FEAR creeping in. Breathe. Check your thinking. Is there a shift that you can make to move you out of fear and into a place of acceptance and compassion? Can you move from fear to love? From that place, you can take inspired action towards your dreams!