7 Reasons We Hold Ourselves Back.

hold back

Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but you are stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all? It’s time to let go of these 7 things that cause you to hold back.

I have the honor of coaching some amazing women. What I have learned is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, they work hard, take care of lots of other people, try to do the right thing and they have really amazing ideas about what they would like to accomplish in their lives.

However, these same women are almost always fearful, confused and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get fully implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!

All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in their lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help their kids and others by doing what they love. They want to create their lives on purpose and not by default.

It is really interesting when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her true vision for herself – she becomes aware that if she were living this desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom.

Can you relate to this?

If we have brilliant ideas and heartfelt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? Why do we default into accepting our states of weakness and stagnation and claim it to be normal?

Here are the 7 reasons that women hold themselves back from living their lives on purpose. Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.

The good news is that these 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not feel this way at the moment.
The only person holding you back is you. Your life, your body, and your mind can be in a state of growth and evolvement. It is possible to move past the blocks and these 7 reasons, for good.

Here are the 7 reasons women hold themselves back:

1. Indecision
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and have learned how to make their decisions “right” after they have made them. They have a deep trust and feel confident they can change course at any given time. Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).

2. Procrastination
Procrastination is putting off what needs to be done today until some point in the future. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge misalignment between what you say you want and what you do. Why is that? It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire.

3. Self-Doubt
Self-doubt shows up whenever we are ready to step out of comfort zones and do something new. It is an expected emotion and yet, we work so hard to dismiss it and fight it. Self-doubt and our resistance to experience it will cause us to make excuses or justifications for why we can’t have what we want or why it won’t work out. We will blame other people, we will say we are confused or not ready. It will give us an excuse to quit before we start.
If you are filled with self-doubt, you need more clarity about what you want to help fuel you through the discomfort of self-doubt. Connecting with your compelling reason why you want to live your life of purpose, or follow your heart’s desire, will give you the strength to lean into the self-doubt and pursue your dreams anyway.

4. Worry
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and possibility. And the future holds the results of your current thinking. You create everything in your life through your mind. So if your mind is filled with worry about what will happen, the negative stuff, the failures and worse-case scenarios – then those will absolutely come true for you.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?

5. Fear
Fear is not real. It is an illusion created in the mind by negative thinking. The negative and limiting thinking is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small and safe. Growth and evolution require that we step into areas of discomfort and the unknown, in pursuit of our dreams. It requires that we expand our thinking to what is possible and available to us.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women experience fear but they understand they have power over it. They are willing to lean into what they are afraid of and support themselves through it with self-love.

6. Waiting
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? It is so important to get really clear about this.
Most women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling the belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. Waiting takes all your power away.
Creating a life on purpose requires action and deciding that now is the perfect time to take a step in the direction of creating it.

7. Negative Body Image
Yesterday, I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle with her body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go, she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Her image of herself is completely holding her back in her life.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a negative way – creating shame and wanting to hide from the world.

In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having deeper intimacy with others, sharing authentic experiences, meeting new people, putting ourselves out there and even, making more money – it stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.

Please do yourself a big favor and commit to moving beyond these 7 things that keep you from living your life on purpose.

Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money.

If you don’t, you will continue to live by default and deny your greatest gifts and talents to the world. Please do us a favor and put yourself out there – decide and commit, embrace the discomfort and uncertainty, put your brilliance to work for you.

We need you and we are waiting.

Not sure where to begin? Why not book a complimentary BREAKTHROUGH SESSION? Let’s talk about what’s holding you back and what steps you can take to move through these blocks with ease and confidence. Book your no-obligation free session today!

My New Thoughts.

katie pulsifer coaching

You know those moments when you can’t get out of your own head? When you are consumed by your negative thoughts? That endless parade of negative thinking that distorts your perception of EVERYTHING!

Everything is doom and gloom, worst case scenario, glass half empty.

It feels painful and beyond your control.

It’s happening and it feels there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it.

You just have to get through it….until something else comes along to direct your attention elsewhere.

You are helpless.

Except, you are not.

Thoughts are optional. Especially the negative ones.

Here is what I mean.

We are always going to think thoughts. And all of our thoughts are just the judgments and opinions and impressions of the world around us. We have so much freedom in our thinking. We just don’t know it. We believe that our thinking is by default…that is just happens to us. We do not know that we are the creators of everything that is going on in our minds.
As human beings, we are so blessed because we get to think about what we think about.
We are privileged to be able to influence all of our thinking.

That means that we have the ability to change our thoughts, to evolve our thoughts, especially all that negative thinking.

And you are probably wondering exactly how change your thoughts, especially the ones that we have carried around with us for such a long time. Changing negative thoughts requires creating consciousness and awareness around what you think about. Simply put – it means paying attention to what is happening in your mind. It means getting curious about what is going on in your head.

What are you thinking?

It is so important to then view the thoughts from a place of compassion and non-judgement. And once you are there, you can begin to replace the negative thoughts with new thoughts to think. And then practice the new thoughts over and over again until they become automatic – your new normal.

Now this work doesn’t just happen overnight and it can be difficult if you try and do it on your own. And if you choose to pursue the experience of learning how to shift your negative thinking, it will be the most rewarding, life-changing, freedom producing work that you can do in this life-time.

I choose to do this work, every day. And it has changed my life.
My coach taught me how and then supported me through my learning process until I masted the skill.
Mastering the skill of thinking about what I think about means that I have learned how to break old negative thought cycles, permanently.
I know how to get myself out of my head, how to stop feeling sorry for myself and how to stop focusing on negative potential outcomes.

I know how to make myself feel better, anytime I want to, regardless of my circumstances. I know how to do this because I know how to change my thoughts. And that is total freedom.

Here is my gift for you this week. It is a short list of my favorite New Thoughts to Think. It’s my go-to list that I can refer to whenever I get stuck in a negative thought loop. I have several copies taped up around my house to remind me that I always have a choice in what I think and therefore how I feel. I just look at my list and find the thought that feels most relevant and necessary in the moment. I focus on the new thought and practice thinking it as long as I need to, to feel better and break the negative thought cycle.

I am guided.
Everything is exactly as it should be.
Everything happens for my benefit.
It was meant to happen the way that it did.
I choose to unconditionally love whenever possible.
I am exactly as I should be.
Everything happens right on time.
The Universe doesn’t make mistakes.
Love is always my most favorite option.
I am responsible for everything I think and feel.
No one can cause a feeling inside of me.
People are allowed to behave the way they want and I am allowed to react the way that I want.
It’s not what I do, but who I am.
There is nothing you can do that wouldn’t be worthy of forgiveness.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I am enough.
Nothing has gone wrong here.
We are here to get to the work of ourselves.
My purpose is the life that I am living right now.
I am deeply loved.
The world longs for what I have to offer.
There is nothing that I truly want that I can’t have.
I can do hard things.
Worry serves no purpose.
Money is easy.
There is plenty of time.
Everything I do is a choice.
My past is perfect.
There is nothing they can do to make me happy – that’s my job.
What others think of me is about them, not me.
Suffering is sometimes familiar, but not necessary.