7 Reasons We Hold Ourselves Back.

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Do you have a big vision for your life and lots of ideas that you would like act upon, but you are stuck in rut wondering when life will shift for once and for all? It’s time to let go of these 7 things that cause you to hold back.

I have the honor of coaching some amazing women. What I have learned is that most women have a few things in common: They are brilliant, they work hard, take care of lots of other people, try to do the right thing and they have really amazing ideas about what they would like to accomplish in their lives.

However, these same women are almost always fearful, confused and full of self-doubt. Their ideas never really get fully implemented because they are stuck, overwhelmed, frustrated and unclear. I really relate to this because I used to be the same exact way!

All of these brilliant women have a strong desire to make a difference in their lifetime. They want to leave a legacy behind and help their kids and others by doing what they love. They want to create their lives on purpose and not by default.

It is really interesting when one of my clients gets really clear and connects to her true vision for herself – she becomes aware that if she were living this desire FULLY, she would be so happy, unstoppable, fearless and feel a complete sense of freedom.

Can you relate to this?

If we have brilliant ideas and heartfelt desires, why do we struggle with creating a life on purpose? Where’s the disconnect? Why do we default into accepting our states of weakness and stagnation and claim it to be normal?

Here are the 7 reasons that women hold themselves back from living their lives on purpose. Indecision, Procrastination, Self Doubt, Worry, Fear, Waiting and Negative Body Image.

The good news is that these 7 things are very easy to overcome with the right mindset and support. This is easier than you think, though it may not feel this way at the moment.
The only person holding you back is you. Your life, your body, and your mind can be in a state of growth and evolvement. It is possible to move past the blocks and these 7 reasons, for good.

Here are the 7 reasons women hold themselves back:

1. Indecision
Indecision means putting off making decisions or not making a decision at all. Successful women reach decisions promptly and have learned how to make their decisions “right” after they have made them. They have a deep trust and feel confident they can change course at any given time. Making quick decisions will liberate you.
People who are stuck and aren’t living the life they truly want are wishy-washy and change their mind frequently. They say yes/no/maybe over and over again. Ultimately they never come to any decision, so their life does not change – which leads to number two (see below).

2. Procrastination
Procrastination is putting off what needs to be done today until some point in the future. Your life is now and is waiting for you to fully show up in the present moment.
Understand and become aware of why you are procrastinating, instead of being unconscious to this behavior.
If you have a big dream, but you procrastinate, there is huge misalignment between what you say you want and what you do. Why is that? It is worth your time to invest and understand why you are putting off the exact things you say you desire.

3. Self-Doubt
Self-doubt shows up whenever we are ready to step out of comfort zones and do something new. It is an expected emotion and yet, we work so hard to dismiss it and fight it. Self-doubt and our resistance to experience it will cause us to make excuses or justifications for why we can’t have what we want or why it won’t work out. We will blame other people, we will say we are confused or not ready. It will give us an excuse to quit before we start.
If you are filled with self-doubt, you need more clarity about what you want to help fuel you through the discomfort of self-doubt. Connecting with your compelling reason why you want to live your life of purpose, or follow your heart’s desire, will give you the strength to lean into the self-doubt and pursue your dreams anyway.

4. Worry
Worry is one the biggest forms of distraction I know. It takes you out of the present moment and takes you into the future – the unknown – which is scary for most. However, in my experience the future is filled with wonder and possibility. And the future holds the results of your current thinking. You create everything in your life through your mind. So if your mind is filled with worry about what will happen, the negative stuff, the failures and worse-case scenarios – then those will absolutely come true for you.
Worry is a form of fear and is just an illusion about something that may happen in the future. It a form of “trying” to control an outcome.
What if you let go of worry and allowed something amazing to happen?

5. Fear
Fear is not real. It is an illusion created in the mind by negative thinking. The negative and limiting thinking is keeping you from growing and expanding. It wants to keep you small and safe. Growth and evolution require that we step into areas of discomfort and the unknown, in pursuit of our dreams. It requires that we expand our thinking to what is possible and available to us.
Love and fear can’t exist at the same time.
Successful women experience fear but they understand they have power over it. They are willing to lean into what they are afraid of and support themselves through it with self-love.

6. Waiting
You want it now – right? So why are you waiting to go for it? It is so important to get really clear about this.
Most women wait for the right time, the right amount of money, etc. I learned how to completely love myself through choosing not to wait – to go after what I want – especially when things aren’t perfect. Waiting is stagnant energy that only creates more stagnant energy – it shows up in painful thoughts, self-sabotage, emotional eating, etc. – fueling the belief that you can’t do it. And honestly, waiting does not feel good. Waiting takes all your power away.
Creating a life on purpose requires action and deciding that now is the perfect time to take a step in the direction of creating it.

7. Negative Body Image
Yesterday, I spoke with a woman who shared her struggle with her body image. She told me she often isolates in her house. When it comes to going out to events, she gets nervous about who will be there and how they will judge her, and this often stops her from going – or if she does go, she immediately starts comparing herself to other women.
Her image of herself is completely holding her back in her life.
Body image and self-perception matter deeply when we give them the power to alter our behavior in a negative way – creating shame and wanting to hide from the world.

In our personal and professional lives, a negative body image blocks us from having deeper intimacy with others, sharing authentic experiences, meeting new people, putting ourselves out there and even, making more money – it stops us from creating the ultimate life, health, body, and even financial status, we deeply desire.

Please do yourself a big favor and commit to moving beyond these 7 things that keep you from living your life on purpose.

Stop waiting for the perfect time, let go of the need for complete certainty, the fear of scarcity, the struggle with your body weight and waiting for the right amount of money.

If you don’t, you will continue to live by default and deny your greatest gifts and talents to the world. Please do us a favor and put yourself out there – decide and commit, embrace the discomfort and uncertainty, put your brilliance to work for you.

We need you and we are waiting.

Not sure where to begin? Why not book a complimentary BREAKTHROUGH SESSION? Let’s talk about what’s holding you back and what steps you can take to move through these blocks with ease and confidence. Book your no-obligation free session today!

The Downside of Indecision.

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I can absolutely relate when someone says to me, “I have a decision to make but I’m just not making it and it’s driving me crazy!”

I know this so well because when I avoid making a decision or taking action – it constantly weighs on my thoughts, disrupts my sleep, depletes my energy and disconnects me from my personal power. I feel distracted and overwhelmed by the fact that I have a decision to make or action to take. I feel detached from the present moment, like I am just going through the motions and everything feels a little unsettled. The state of indecision or inaction does begin to drive me crazy.
A client of mine recently put off a decision about creating her dream career because she was afraid to make the wrong decision. This kept her blocked from doing what she really wanted and prevented her from spending time doing what she loves to do, all because she was afraid of making the wrong decision. Another client stayed in a relationship with someone she knew she was not right for her. She was focused on thoughts of, “I need to tell him” and then constantly worried about how and when to do it – all of which blocked her from pursuing other aspects of her life that she was really passionate about. Both of these clients referred to “driving themselves crazy” with the constant distraction of indecision and inaction.
In both of these cases, my clients allowed fear to create indecisiveness and it kept them from taking positive steps toward their goals. They both knew with 100% certainty that simply making their decision would make them feel better, but they didn’t trust that the correct answers were within them. If they had fully decided and responded, they would have been less stressed; less distracted and felt a whole lot better. A decision, followed by action would have allowed both of these women to spend more time doing what they love and less time worrying.
Being indecisive leads to procrastination, self-doubt and distraction.
The constant thinking about making a decision, drains and depletes your energy and only drives you further away from the success you want. Decision-making always feels better, creates empowerment, clears the way for new opportunities, and propels you towards everything that you want in your life.
Being an empowered woman means being the leader in your life. One of the most empowering skills a leader has is the ability to make a good decision.

So how do you move away from the fear of making the wrong decision?

Know that it is absolutely impossible to make a wrong decision. Ever. For every decision you make, you gain experience and knowledge for the future and you open up new opportunities. There is always something positive to be gained from the result of a decision, even it is not what you hoped for.
Step into your BEST SELF. When you are in a feel-good place, you will be more decisive and make quicker decisions. Connect to your best self through meditating, journaling, exercise, etc. Visualize your best self-making decisions that need to be made. Imagine exactly how your best self feels and what she thinks. Then, when it’s time to make decisions in life, ask how your best self would handle the situation. Would she procrastinate or take action?
Trust your intuition. Go with it, without question, otherwise things get confusing and unnecessarily complicated. Your answer on what to do, is already within you, it’s just a matter of connecting to what is true. Believe that your first choice is always the best. If you feel a little unsure about a specific decision, put a time frame on it. Tell yourself that within 24 hours you will make a decision and then do it.
One thing I know for sure is that avoiding decisions only brings you more of what you don’t want. Making choices can become easy and lead to more freedom when you do it from a place of calm and connection. You will experience some degree of fear in the process of making a decision or taking action – that is to be expected. Fear is just an uncomfortable emotion, not proof that things won’t work out.
As you look at your life this week, think about where you are stuck in indecision or inaction. What can you do today, to make a shift? Commit to making a decision or taking action within the next 24 hours and see how good you feel when you honor that commitment. Feel free to email me, if you want support in this process. I would love to help you stay committed and accountable during this process.