Who’s in Charge of Your Life?

How’s your relationship with yourself? Who’s in charge of your life? You or your inner critic?

If your inner critic is in charge, then this is what could be happening;

A compliment comes your way…and you downplay it.

You look in the mirror…and only see your flaws.

You set out to do something…and then tell yourself all the reasons you can’t.

You step on the scale…and then make the number mean terrible things.

You look at your bank account…and start feeling guilty and ashamed.

An opportunity shows up…and then you say that you don’t know how to make it happen.

Meet Your Inner Critic and she is running your life!

The inner critic voice can be VERY LOUD in our heads – based on months or years of thinking negative thoughts.

These thoughts are so well worn and habitual that we don’t even realize they are there.

They have become fundamentally part of who we are.

And we believe every one of them.

The inner critic slows down our evolving process. It only sees problems when actually there are solutions and possibilities. The inner critic makes us hide, play small, and settle for less.

We forget that we have the power to silence our inner critic.

We always have the option to turn a negative and judging voice in our head into a neutral voice.

We can always teach ourselves to think new thoughts – ones that are less negatively charged.

Thoughts that don’t do such damage.

We can choose responses that show ourselves compassion.

And LOVE.

Kinder thoughts are always available to us.

This is the ultimate gift of self-care.

Here are some ways to silence your inner critic;

A compliment comes your way…and you can say thank you.

You look in the mirror…and you can see strength, courage, beauty, and wisdom.

You set out to do something…and you can tell yourself that anything is possible.

You step on the scale…and you can feel blessed to have a body.

You check out your bank account…and you can feel grateful for all you have.

An opportunity shows up…and you can say that you will get to work to figure out how to make it happen.

Kinder words will silence your inner critic. And eventually, those kinder words will become your thoughts. And those thoughts will become your new beliefs.

And you will be in charge of your life!

For more Self-Care solutions like this one, be sure to request my FREE GUIDE below.

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mental spring cleaning.

Life Coaching, Katie Pulsifer Coaching,

This week marked the first day of Spring and I couldn’t be more ready for a season shift and do a mental spring clean.

I am anxious for the snow to melt and to begin spending more time outside.

There is so much to do, coming out of a dark, cold winter. Lot’s of tidying up, organizing and purging, while preparing for the warmer months ahead.

And lot’s of spring cleaning.

The physical work of cleaning out our homes – shaking off the dust, opening up the windows – letting light and fresh air come inside.

While the earth softens and new growth appears. Raking, pruning and planting outside. A genuine transformation takes place all around us.

And I like to believe that we can use this time to transform too. We can do some necessary and very important spring clean up of our thoughts.

Everything we think is deciding our future.

Right now, all of our thoughts are building, creating and inspiring our future results.

The good thoughts. And the not-so-good thoughts.

Most of us don’t know this.

We think that life just happens to us and we just have to manage our way through it.

Many of us do not know that every outcome we experience starts with a thought.

That is powerful.

Thoughts create results – just as seeds become plants.

We have so much influence over what thoughts we think.

But we forget this.

We believe that we are stuck with the thoughts that we have been thinking for a long time and I want to tell you that this just isn’t true.

We can always change our thoughts.

Thoughts are just sentences running through our minds about what is happening in our lives. They are opinions and impressions and often filled with judgment and negativity, thus producing negative results in our life.

We can plant new thoughts in our minds, just like we plant new seeds in the ground.
We can air out our minds, just like we air out our homes after the long winter.
We can unpack new, inspiring beliefs about ourselves replacing the heavier, protective ones that we have been carrying around for months or years.

It’s time to do some spring cleaning on our minds – especially if you are ready to create new results in your life.

Remember, every outcome begins with a thought.

So what would you like to create this spring?

Are you ready to let go of some old and ‘holding you back’ beliefs?
Are you ready to stop being so hard on yourself?
Are you ready to break a negative habit?
Are you ready to stop being so hard on yourself?
Are you ready to release your past-focused thinking?

Now is the perfect time to awaken change within your mind to allow new results to take shape in your life.

I would argue that mental spring cleaning is just as important as any other work you are planning to do in or outside of your home in the next few weeks and months to get ready for the new season. It is absolutely necessary if you are looking for new outcomes.

And here is some really great news for you…

I would like to offer you a complimentary mental spring cleaning check-up.
All you have to do is schedule a Breakthrough Session with me.  This is a 30-minute complimentary phone call with me to talk about how to clean up your thinking and direct your thoughts towards the future that you want.

It’s easy. You get to spend some time spring cleaning out your thoughts. And together we will discuss how you can become more purposeful and intentioned in directing your new thoughts towards the future you want. And it’s my gift to you. I want you to take as amazing care of your mind as you do your home this spring.

Let’s kick off the new season with renewed focus and energy towards making this an amazing spring. Book your FREE session now.

Why Quitting Feels Good.

katie pulsifer coaching, life coaching, life coach

Last week, I had a severe case of writer’s block. Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.

I sat down to write this weekly email so many times and had absolutely nothing to say.

I called it writer’s block because that felt legitimate. It meant I was a serious writer, plagued with this “official” and “inconvenient” curse of not being able to produce the words when I needed something to write.

So, I let myself off the hook and said – “Just don’t send it. You have nothing to say this week.”

And, so I quit.

And it felt like such a relief.

And I tried again the next day and the day after that, with the same result.

So, I kept quitting and I kept feeling relieved when I let myself off the hook.

I justified my writer’s block as the week went on with these thoughts.

You have so many things on your plate right now, it makes perfect sense that you don’t know what to write
You work so hard, it’s ok to skip a week
Give yourself this break and you will be full of ideas next week
Everyone else is so busy too
No one reads it anyway
No one will notice that it wasn’t in their inbox this week

But here is what is interesting – I noticed.

All week – I noticed that I had not done something that I had done every Tuesday for 18 months.

I thought about it all week.
And it bothered me.
And it really distracted me.

The quitting didn’t actually bring me any lasting relief. The quitting that felt good in the moment, left me with this heavy feeling of remorse and disappointment instead.

Here is what I also noticed.
Not sending out the weekly email on Tuesday wasn’t for the reason that I wanted it to be.

It wasn’t writer’s block.

I knew that because I had written plenty of draft versions that were waiting for me in my folder and I could have hit send on any one of them.

Here’s what really happened and why I didn’t publish anything last week.

Sometime early last week, I allowed my ego to start making important decisions for me.
And my ego operates from a place of fear.
And my ego is a harsh and judgmental critic.
And my ego wants to keep me safe and comfortable.

I also refer to my ego as my “old brain” – the un-evolved part of my brain that wants to seek comfort, security and not take any risks. This old brain wants my life to be easy.

This is why quitting felt so good. My ego was protecting me from feeling embarrassed or not good enough or judged by others who would read what I wrote.
And why justifying the quitting and calling it writer’s block felt safe and protected me from experiencing any that discomfort.

But I know better.

I do not get the results that I want in my life when I let my ego make the decisions. Period.

Because my ego will always be working to keep me safe, comfortable – expending minimal effort – basically not growing or evolving.

I have to overcome my “old brain” (ego) to grow, to take risks and to challenge myself. I have to be willing to be uncomfortable in pursuit of moving my life forward. Otherwise, I will always stay in exactly the same place.

So when I look back at last week, I am fascinated by how quickly my ego got the better of me.

And I let it.

There was definitely a part of me that felt unsure and tentative in my writing last week.

And that became the perfect moment for my ego to show up and begin to fill my thoughts with doubt, uncertainty, fear, and worry. I bought into those thoughts 100%. I justified the thoughts and then gave myself permission to quit. Fascinating.

As you head into this week – think about where you might be letting your ego make the decisions for you. And how do you feel about that? Can you be curious about where you might want to push through the self-doubt and fear anyway and overcome your ego, for your benefit?

Remember that your ego is trying to keep you safe and protected, which probably also means not putting yourself out there or doing something uncomfortable. How can you overcome your “old brain” in pursuit of something that matters to you? And most importantly, what can you learn about yourself in the process?

If you prefer, we can do this work together – because I know that two minds are better than one. Book a complimentary Breakthrough Session to see how to overcome a desire to quit in pursuit of relief. Let’s take 30 minutes to talk about it. Book your session today!

My New Thoughts.

katie pulsifer coaching

You know those moments when you can’t get out of your own head? When you are consumed by your negative thoughts? That endless parade of negative thinking that distorts your perception of EVERYTHING!

Everything is doom and gloom, worst case scenario, glass half empty.

It feels painful and beyond your control.

It’s happening and it feels there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it.

You just have to get through it….until something else comes along to direct your attention elsewhere.

You are helpless.

Except, you are not.

Thoughts are optional. Especially the negative ones.

Here is what I mean.

We are always going to think thoughts. And all of our thoughts are just the judgments and opinions and impressions of the world around us. We have so much freedom in our thinking. We just don’t know it. We believe that our thinking is by default…that is just happens to us. We do not know that we are the creators of everything that is going on in our minds.
As human beings, we are so blessed because we get to think about what we think about.
We are privileged to be able to influence all of our thinking.

That means that we have the ability to change our thoughts, to evolve our thoughts, especially all that negative thinking.

And you are probably wondering exactly how change your thoughts, especially the ones that we have carried around with us for such a long time. Changing negative thoughts requires creating consciousness and awareness around what you think about. Simply put – it means paying attention to what is happening in your mind. It means getting curious about what is going on in your head.

What are you thinking?

It is so important to then view the thoughts from a place of compassion and non-judgement. And once you are there, you can begin to replace the negative thoughts with new thoughts to think. And then practice the new thoughts over and over again until they become automatic – your new normal.

Now this work doesn’t just happen overnight and it can be difficult if you try and do it on your own. And if you choose to pursue the experience of learning how to shift your negative thinking, it will be the most rewarding, life-changing, freedom producing work that you can do in this life-time.

I choose to do this work, every day. And it has changed my life.
My coach taught me how and then supported me through my learning process until I masted the skill.
Mastering the skill of thinking about what I think about means that I have learned how to break old negative thought cycles, permanently.
I know how to get myself out of my head, how to stop feeling sorry for myself and how to stop focusing on negative potential outcomes.

I know how to make myself feel better, anytime I want to, regardless of my circumstances. I know how to do this because I know how to change my thoughts. And that is total freedom.

Here is my gift for you this week. It is a short list of my favorite New Thoughts to Think. It’s my go-to list that I can refer to whenever I get stuck in a negative thought loop. I have several copies taped up around my house to remind me that I always have a choice in what I think and therefore how I feel. I just look at my list and find the thought that feels most relevant and necessary in the moment. I focus on the new thought and practice thinking it as long as I need to, to feel better and break the negative thought cycle.

I am guided.
Everything is exactly as it should be.
Everything happens for my benefit.
It was meant to happen the way that it did.
I choose to unconditionally love whenever possible.
I am exactly as I should be.
Everything happens right on time.
The Universe doesn’t make mistakes.
Love is always my most favorite option.
I am responsible for everything I think and feel.
No one can cause a feeling inside of me.
People are allowed to behave the way they want and I am allowed to react the way that I want.
It’s not what I do, but who I am.
There is nothing you can do that wouldn’t be worthy of forgiveness.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I am enough.
Nothing has gone wrong here.
We are here to get to the work of ourselves.
My purpose is the life that I am living right now.
I am deeply loved.
The world longs for what I have to offer.
There is nothing that I truly want that I can’t have.
I can do hard things.
Worry serves no purpose.
Money is easy.
There is plenty of time.
Everything I do is a choice.
My past is perfect.
There is nothing they can do to make me happy – that’s my job.
What others think of me is about them, not me.
Suffering is sometimes familiar, but not necessary.

Clutter

It is so easy to get trapped in this cycle, whether it’s with physical clutter in our homes or mental clutter in our minds. We love to think that there is not enough time to do anything about it. However, if we decide that we want to break the cycle, we can always find a few minutes to clean out a drawer, clean off the countertop, clean out a closet or purge unhelpful thoughts.

Think of the clutter as unnecessary worry and weight that we are choosing to carry around with us. It is triggered by what we think, how we feel and what we see when we look around our homes. It is unnecessary and unhelpful. And just adds more stress to our already busy lives.

We can choose to be less burdened and lighter in our minds and bodies and in our homes. Decluttering our minds allows new thoughts and creative ideas to take shape. Decluttering surfaces and spaces at home allows a sense of peace and calm to prevail, something that we can all benefit from.

My favorite way to release the negative clutter of thoughts is to write them down, to get them out of my mind. Sometimes I find it helpful to throw away the paper afterwards. Sometimes I even burn it. I also like release the negative clutter of thoughts with getting outside for a walk or going to the yoga studio. Feeling overwhelmed is optional, so I try to make things easier on myself with less clutter to distract and overwhelm me. When I put in a little effort to clear my mind or the countertop, it always makes a profound difference in how I feel.