Acceptance

What if you were to say that everything is exactly how it should be?

Could you accept it?

It takes a tremendous amount of emotional maturity to make a statement like that, especially when you are far away from realizing the dream life that you desire. However, when we take time to reflect and accept that we have all arrived at these current places in our lives because of all of our thoughts, feelings, actions and results, then we can accept total responsibility for creating the life that we have today.

Taking total responsibility is the first step. And it is counter-intuitive to what we habitually do, which is to give credit to others for our success, downplay our achievements by saying that we are just lucky or blaming our past and others for everything that hasn’t worked out.

The truth is always that life is playing out perfectly for us in every moment.

Life is always as it should be even when it is not great and perhaps even very difficult.

The challenging times always provide growth opportunities and infinite lessons, when we allow ourselves to accept them without judgment and blaming others – accepting that our negative thoughts create our negative results 100% of the time.

The amazing times remind us to celebrate our accomplishments with total confidence and ownership – accepting that our positive thoughts create our positive results 100% of the time.

To accept that everything is exactly as it should be, we take the first step by assuming responsibility for all of our thoughts and results,  proving that we are the creators of our current situation. We take the second step when we accept that we are the creators of our future, that anything is possible – that a new future begins in our mind with new thoughts and eventually becomes our new life.

Acceptance.

Do It Differently

If you are like me, then it’s likely that you are heading into a normal day of routine and predictability. A full schedule. A long to-do list. Making sure that everyone else’s needs are met. And perhaps already managing your expectations that once again, you might not achieve the results that you truly desire for yourself today. That somehow your own life is not within your control and whatever happens today, happens and you will just figure out how to deal with it.

And chances are that today is a lot like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Same thought patterns and same results.

 

So, how do we begin to break a cycle like this? How do ensure that we get the results that we want and create time for the things that matter to us?

The good news is that we do not have to wait for circumstances (the job, the family, the to-do list) to change in order to experience new results. We don’t have to wait to lose the weight, fall in love, or earn more money in order to create the results that we want. Results are generated by the thoughts we think, not by circumstances. Plain and simple. And that is incredible, because it means that get to take full responsibility for our lives. We decide what we think, which affects how we feel, which inspires action, which creates our results.

Positive thoughts always create positive results. That knowledge is so powerful.

So when I find myself in a results rut, I know that I need to change my thinking and here’s how I do it.

First, I focus on a new result that I want for myself and why I want it. Getting connected to the ‘why’ gives us so much information to work with.

Then ask myself these questions.

What do I need to do in order to create this new result?
What do I need to feel in order to create this new result?
What do I need to think in order to create this new result?

Breaking old patterns and cycles doesn’t happen on it’s own. And it doesn’t happen while we wait for the world or people around us to change. Creating new results begins with working in our minds and no one can do that work for us. It’s an inside job.

So if today, you are looking to do something a little differently – change the routine and predictability or create more time for yourself, why not give this exercise a try and see what happens. I know from experience that it works, every time. And makes all the difference – in going from feeling ‘whatever happens, happens’ to feeling in control of creating the results that you really want for yourself. Powerful.

Commitment & Discipline

Welcome to February – the month of commitment and discipline! Many of you created (or tried to create) new routines and rituals in January, either through my 30 Day Self Care Challenge or through your own resolutions for the New Year. February is the time when you will be tested. It is the month when you will consider how committed you are to follow through on what you’ve started. The month when you will evaluate your level of discipline. It’s natural and normal, and believe me, we are all pondering these very same things right now. Here is how I am making sense of it all for myself, as I reflect back to last month and then also look ahead.

What goal did I accomplish in January?
Why did I accomplish it?
How did I feel when I accomplished it?
Am I willing to honor this commitment for another month based on how I felt when I accomplished it?
Is there opportunity to create deeper commitment or discipline?

Where did I struggle to accomplish a goal that I had set in January?
Why did I struggle?
Was I really committed to the goal in the first place?
What would my life be like if I continue to choose to not accomplish this goal?
What do I need to think and feel in order to get back on track with this goal?

As I think through the questions and formulate my answers, I do so without judgement about myself and let go of any old negative stories about my lack of follow-thru, because I know they won’t help me. If I fell short in goal-setting in the past, I become curious about why, and I don’t beat myself up about it. What good would that do? Beating myself up never motivates me to take different action going forward. So, I keep asking myself curiosity questions while withholding judgement, so that I can learn about myself and most importantly, why, when and how I get the results I want. How do I then apply those learnings to commitments where I did not meet my own expectations? The answers to those questions, become the motivation that drives my focus for February, because I am committed to understand how and why I do what I do, and I am disciplined in following through on the commitments that I am truly invested in. In February, I am choosing compassion and curiosity for myself over judgement and mis-aligned expectation.

What will you choose?

What does commitment and discipline in February look like for you?