self-love.

self-love evolution, life coaching,

Happy Valentine’s Week.

And this is what I want to know – what are you going to do to show yourself some love today?

Seriously. How are you going to love yourself today?

What words will you choose to describe yourself and all the amazing things that you do?
What actions will you take to bring you closer to your dreams?
What do you want to feel, on purpose, about yourself?
How can you create more love for yourself today?

There will be a lot of emphasis on your relationship status today. The cards, the candy, the flowers, the jewelry – all focused on whether or not you have new love, old love or no love in your life. Yes, relationship status is important. But, nothing is more important than the relationship that you have with yourself. When you are loving towards yourself – new love deepens, old love strengthens and no love turns into the possibility of finding love.

It all starts with self-love. How we treat ourselves. How we care for ourselves. How we nurture our well-being. Everything we do, say, think, feel is a choice. And choosing, on purpose, to treat ourselves in a loving way is always available to us.

So here are some questions for you to consider today.

Do you put your needs last?
Do you constantly apologize?
Do you assume that you are letting others down in some way?
Do you regularly find ways to make fun of yourself or put yourself down?
Do you have a hard time following through on what you say matters to you?
Do you feel sorry for yourself?
Do you feel afraid a lot?

If you answered yes, to one or more of these questions, then it is time for you to ignite your self-love. Here’s why.

It doesn’t matter how much someone else loves you, if you don’t love yourself like you are the most incredible person that you have ever met.

And, if you are looking for love…you will continue to block it from coming into your life if you don’t love yourself with everything you’ve got.

And, if you are working on your relationship and trying to take it to a deeper level, it can’t go there until you lead by example and deepen the love you have for yourself.

I know, that this sounds counter-intuitive, to everything that we are taught about being selfless in love, making others happy, taking care of others, meeting their needs, etc…

But let me tell you, it doesn’t work that way.

The most important person for you to love is you. You have to start with you. When you develop true unconditional love for yourself, then you are ready to love others with such conviction, loyalty, compassion, respect and devotion.

Unconditional self-love is about being kind to yourself. It’s about creating your feelings on purpose. It is about trusting yourself. It is about not letting yourself down. It about being your own best friend through everything that life throws at you.

Love is one of the best feeling emotions that we can feel. And it is available for us to feel anytime we want based on the thoughts we think. Self-love gives us a double dose of love. Not only do we generate the feeling of love with our thoughts. We also experience being loved by the actions we take and the way we treat ourselves.

Who wouldn’t want a double dose of love?

When we create self-love in our lives, we show up differently. We give more generously. We listen more intently. We pay more attention. We choose kinder words. We forgive more easily. We act more truthfully. We create more love everywhere we go. Every relationship strengthens. Life as we know it, just gets better.

So, how are you going to love yourself today?

P.S. Interested in learning more about how to ignite your self-love? Then I invite you to check out the SELF-LOVE EVOLUTION – a journey that will help you revolutionize your relationship with yourself!

Denial.

katie pulsifer coaching

denial.
de·ni·al
dəˈnīəl/
noun
the action of declaring something to be untrue.
the refusal of something requested or desired.

We all have dreams and desires and I would venture to say that most of us try to keep them a secret. We are afraid to share what we really want because of fear, self-consciousness or perhaps the belief that what we most want isn’t realistic. We keep our dreams and desires a secret if we think they will make other people uncomfortable, require significant change or cost a lot of money.

When we deny that we have dreams and desires, we settle for living in half-truth. We argue with ourselves about our dreams being frivolous or unnecessary or unproductive or inconvenient. We declare them to be untrue, just so they will stop distracting us. We refuse to acknowledge that they live inside of us. We work hard to make them go away by trying to ignore that they exist.

Sometimes when I ask people what they deeply desire, they can often become very quiet. They will say something like, “I really don’t know – I haven’t really ever thought about it.”

I believe that it’s not that they haven’t thought about their desires as much as they’ve just become disconnected from them because they have become habituated to ignoring them. They have fallen into a pattern of denying what they most want.

When I try to inquire a little further, I always hear the various reasons that have prevented their dreams and desires from becoming reality –
“I don’t have time”
“What I want just doesn’t work for my family”
“I can’t start over”
“It’s not practical”
“They will never understand”
“I can’t afford it”

Hearing these reasons always hurts my heart a little because I know that these are all just excuses. Excuses to keep their dreams and desires locked up. Excuses to avoid the potential fear of claiming what you want. Excuses to steer clear of the potential judgement that you might experience. These excuses perpetuate in a cycle of denial. These excuses keep your dreams and desires just out of reach but close enough to create the discontentedness, pain and frustration that many people feel when they have a secret – an unfulfilled dream or desire.

What is it that you keep thinking and dreaming about?

Is there something your soul has been burning to do, be, or offer, that keeps trying to get your attention?

What is your secret dream or desire?

How would your life change right now, if you decided to shine light on your inner secret desire?

What would happen if you made that desire your top priority and shared it with the rest of the world?

What would be possible for you, if you stop denying yourself what you most want?

In my experience – happiness is what happens! I see it all the time. For the people that pursue their desires and stop denying what they truly want – they are rewarded with genuine and authentic happiness. They experience a deep sense of calm and inner connection. They experience the ultimate gift of living in truth. They no longer hide or try to keep secrets from themselves. They no longer say one thing and mean something else. They no longer refuse or deny themselves what they most want.

In choosing their truth – they ultimately choose freedom. Freedom over fear, self-consciousness and other limiting beliefs.

There is a simple exercise that you can do today, to stop denying what you really want and to start experiencing the freedom and happiness that you are craving. Click here for access to the Stop Denying and Start Dreaming worksheet.