Are You Overworking in Your Coaching Sessions?

Coaching is a collaborative partnership, not a solo performance.

But if you’ve ever left a session feeling exhausted, replaying every detail, or carrying the weight of your client’s progress on your shoulders—you’re not alone.

I know this pattern well—because I’ve been there.

Early in my coaching career, I worked with a client who had big dreams of leaving academia. She came to every session full of ideas but rarely took action to move forward.

I cared deeply about her vision, so I pushed harder to help her create momentum. I asked more questions, introduced new tools, and even spent time outside our sessions brainstorming how to support her.

I wanted her dream for her. Probably more than she wanted it for herself at the time.

And that was the problem.

The more effort I made, the more she stayed in place. I was doing the work for her instead of holding the space for her to step into it.

That was a hard truth to accept.

I was working harder than she was. And that wasn’t serving either of us.

Are You Overworking in Your Coaching Sessions?

A great question to ask yourself after a session:

Who was working harder—me or my client?

If you’re over-efforting, you might notice:

• You leave sessions feeling drained instead of energized.

• You think about their progress more than they do between sessions.

• You’re trying different approaches to "get through" to them.

• You feel responsible for their results.

• You second-guess whether you did enough.

Overworking in coaching isn’t just exhausting—it slows your client’s growth.

When you put in more effort than they do, you miss valuable information about what’s truly holding them back. Coaching isn’t about pushing them forward—it’s about understanding why they’re not moving.

Why We Fall Into This Pattern

Overworking as a coach often comes from a place of care. But underneath, there’s usually something deeper:

• You want to prove your value. If a client has invested in coaching, you might feel pressure to deliver “big results” quickly. But insight and change unfold on their timeline, not yours.

• You’re attached to their outcome. You see their potential so clearly, and you know what’s possible for them. But when you need them to hit a certain goal, it’s time to pause and reflect.

• You feel responsible for their effort. Coaching is a co-creative process. Your role is to guide, challenge, and support—not to work harder than they’re willing to.

How to Shift Out of Over-Efforting

If you’ve been overworking in your coaching, here’s how to reset:

1. Let Your Client Do the Heavy Lifting

Coaching isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about helping your client discover theirs.

Instead of rushing in with solutions, pause. Let them sit in silence. Give them space to process.

A powerful question to ask yourself: Am I filling in the gaps because I’m uncomfortable with their discomfort?

2. Check Your Attachment to Their Outcome

Notice where you might be holding too tightly to their success.

A helpful reframe:
“My job is to show up fully as a coach. Their job is to show up fully as a client.”

When you trust the coaching process, you allow them to take ownership of their experience.

3. Mirror Their Energy

If a client isn’t showing up with full effort, don’t overcompensate. Instead, meet them where they are and explore what’s happening.

Ask questions that shift responsibility back to them:

• What feels most important to focus on today?

• How committed are you to this goal right now?

• What’s getting in the way of taking action?

These questions keep the conversation open while ensuring they own their progress.

4. Trust That Holding Space Is Enough

You don’t have to work extra hard for a session to be valuable.

Some of the most impactful coaching moments come from simply holding space—being fully present, listening deeply, and trusting what unfolds.

If you ever doubt whether you’re doing “enough” in a session, remember: coaching isn’t about performing. It’s about presence.

Coaching Should Feel Like a Partnership, Not a Struggle

Your role isn’t to push harder—it’s to hold the space where awareness and self-trust can grow.

So this week, ask yourself:

• Where might I be over-efforting in my coaching?

• Where can I step back and trust more?

Have you ever caught yourself working harder than your client? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.