Building Community: Coaching to Connect
The truth is that we can’t avoid differences—in our partnerships, friendships, or collaborations. But coaching teaches us how to approach differences with empathy and intention.
It’s not about “fixing” relationships or making everyone agree—it’s about fostering trust, mutual respect, and the ability to hold space for multiple truths.
Empathy: The Bridge to Understanding
Empathy has a way of softening the hardest edges.
When we feel truly understood, we become more open—to others, to new ideas, and even to ourselves.
The Art of Truly Seeing and Hearing
David Brooks writes, “Seeing another person deeply is not just an act of perception but an act of creation.” When we listen with intention and reflect with empathy, we help the other person articulate who they are, perhaps in a way they’ve never done before.
This is especially true in coaching. When a client sits across from us, they are often confronted with questions, doubts, or dreams they haven’t yet voiced. Our role is to create a space where they feel safe enough to explore.
The Magic of Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions don't just solicit an answer—they invite more introspection.
They allow you (or your client) to explore what you or they think, feel, or want with fewer limitations of a yes or no.
They create more understanding and broaden perspectives.
Unveiling The Transformative Power Of Awareness
Awareness helps you make meaning between what you feel, how you interpret information, and what you do.
This connection is crucial because it shapes how you show up in the world, relate to others, and care for yourself.
Lights, Camera, Self-Doubt Drama
I’ve decided to commit to taking small daily actions that help me be present with my self-doubt instead of using it as a permission slip to stay paralyzed in fear of what could go wrong.
The Self-Protection Solution
The first step is just to be aware as we stare at ourselves in the mirror or sit down at our computers to write and post, to notice that our brain is making meaning of what it is experiencing.
Our brains write a story that is separate from who we are.
And precisely because of this separateness, we can see and opt out of negative thinking.
When My Confidence Hit Rock Bottom
It motivates me to help as many coaches as I can believe deeply in themselves, trust their wisdom and instincts, and treat themselves impeccably.
For the past 5 years (and counting), I've guided coaches in breaking negative self-doubt patterns and stepping unapologetically into sustaining confidence.
Because I’ve been there and seen what self-doubt and shame cost us
Just Because
The simple answer is that our intuition, heart, energy, or gut always knows, and we can choose to listen.
A more complex (and honest) answer is that we also seek external approval, which means that no one’s feelings are hurt, and we aren’t judged. This makes listening to and honoring our wants very challenging.
Understanding this, here’s an approach you can take this week to incorporate more of doing what you want.
Redefining People Pleasing
People pleasing may involve subtly trying to control someone else’s emotions—hoping to make them feel happier, more appreciative, or more respectful.
But often, the reason we go to these lengths to please others is because of the sense of peace, security, or validation we hope to feel in return.
Your Brain Loves to be Right
I have spent an extraordinary amount of my life wishing that I was smarter than I am.
I’ve been self-conscious about this for as long as I can remember.
Bounce Back – Making Setbacks Success
Failing well means fully accepting the experience—acknowledging that we didn’t achieve the goal and the flood of emotions that come with it, such as disappointment, rejection, or embarrassment.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think
Self-doubt is based in fear, not facts.
Self-doubt feeds on fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of not fitting in, fear of missing out, or fear of success.
It tries to pursuade you to stay where it’s “safe,” rather than risk trying something you haven’t done before.
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