The Coaching Habits That Are Slowing Your Clients Down
Last week, we talked about the three early coaching mistakes that drain your energy—overpreparing, trying to convince your clients, and people-pleasing in sessions.
If you missed it, catch up here.
This week, we’re shifting the focus from trusting yourself to trusting your clients and the coaching process.
Because one of the biggest lessons I had to learn as a coach was this:
✨ I don’t have to work so hard to make coaching valuable.
✨ I don’t need to over-explain, over-plan, or over-effort.
✨ My client’s transformation is not my responsibility.
But that’s not how I approached coaching in the beginning.
Back then, I felt responsible for the success of every session. If my client wasn’t having big insights, I worried I was doing something wrong. If they were quiet, I rushed in with a new question. If they seemed stuck, I felt like it was on me to guide them out of it.
I worked so hard in my sessions, trying to create value through my own effort.
What I didn’t realize? I was actually slowing down my clients’ breakthroughs by stepping in too soon.
Today, I want to share two habits that can hold your clients back—and how shifting them changed everything for me.
Mistake #4: Not Trusting the Client and the Coaching Process
I remember one session where my client was deep in thought.
A powerful question had landed, and instead of answering right away, they just… sat with it.
At first, I held space. But after a few moments, my discomfort kicked in. The silence felt too long. Were they stuck? Did they need a different question? Should I help them find clarity?
So I did what many new coaches do. I stepped in. I asked a follow-up question to “help” them process.
And the moment I spoke, I saw it. The shift that had been forming inside them disappeared. My words had pulled them out of their own reflection.
That was the day I learned that trusting the coaching process means trusting the silence.
I used to believe my role as a coach was to guide my clients to their breakthroughs. Now, I know my role is to create the space for them to discover it on their own.
When I stopped filling silences, trying to move the conversation along, or making sure every session felt “productive,” I started seeing:
Clients having deeper, more meaningful insights—on their timeline, not mine.
Sessions that felt lighter but had even more impact.
A lot less pressure on myself to make coaching valuable—because the value was already there.
If you ever find yourself wondering, Should I step in here? Should I reframe this? Should I move the conversation forward?—pause. Let the moment breathe. Trust that something is happening, even if you can’t see it yet.
You don’t have to do more. You just have to trust more.
Mistake #5: Overthinking Instead of Coaching
For a long time, I wasn’t fully present in my sessions.
I wanted to be—but my brain was working overtime. Instead of listening deeply, I was thinking:
What’s the best question to ask next?
Is this session going deep enough?
What if they don’t get anything out of this?
It was exhausting. I was so focused on getting it right that I wasn’t actually in the coaching conversation.
Then, one day, I was in a session where I had no idea what to say next. My mind went blank.
At first, panic set in. But instead of scrambling for the next question, I took a breath. I stayed with my client. And something amazing happened—they kept going.
They found their own next thought. They uncovered something deeper.
And I realized… I didn’t need to be perfect to be a great coach. I just needed to be present.
The moment I let go of trying so hard, my coaching changed. I started trusting that:
The next right question will come when I stay in the moment.
The client’s experience matters more than my evaluation of the session.
The coaching is working, even if I can’t always see the impact right away.
If you ever find yourself overanalyzing, second-guessing, or trying to “fix” a session while it’s happening, take a breath. Come back to presence.
Coaching isn’t about performing—it’s about being with your client.
Less Control, More Trust
The most impactful coaches aren’t the ones who work the hardest—they’re the ones who trust the most.
So this week, take a look at where you might be over-efforting in your coaching.
✨ Where are you stepping in too soon instead of letting your client sit in discovery?
✨ Where are you overthinking instead of trusting yourself in the moment?
✨ Where can you create more space, more trust, and more ease in your sessions?
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
