These 3 Coaching Mistakes Will Drain Your Energy—Are You Making Them?
Starting your coaching practice is exciting, meaningful, and full of possibilities.
You’ve invested in your training, you’re ready to serve, and you know you can help people.
But it’s also full of moments that stretch you in ways you didn’t expect.
You care deeply about your clients and want them to succeed. You want to show up fully, ask powerful questions, and create impactful sessions for them. But sometimes, in all that effort, doubt creeps in and has this sneaky way of influencing your thinking. It might sound like:
Am I giving them enough value?
Are they going to get the results that they are paying for?
Do they think they’ve made the right decision in hiring me?
I know this doubt well—because I’ve been there, and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty. I‘m even cringing on the inside as I write this.
Early on, I often worked much harder than my clients, over-delivered, second-guessed myself, and then over-delivered some more in every session. I constantly worried about whether I was doing enough. Instead of feeling fulfilled and aligned, I felt drained and more doubtful. Instead of trusting my clients, I felt overly responsible for them.
It took time (and a lot of practice) to realize that coaching isn’t about doing (sometimes forcing) more—it’s actually about doing less.
I’m sharing three early coaching mistakes that drain your energy—so you can move through them quickly or hopefully skip them altogether.
Mistake #1: Overpreparing Instead of Coaching
New coaches put a lot of pressure on themselves to run “perfect” sessions.
They spend extra time before a call preparing elaborate plans. They think through every possible direction a session could go. They pull together frameworks, journal prompts, and strategies—just in case.
I used to do this, too. I believed that if I was really prepared, I would feel more confident in the session.
But here’s what actually happened:
My sessions felt more rigid because I was attached to my plan.
I worked harder than my clients, overloading them with tools instead of trusting their process.
I spent so much energy preparing outside of sessions that I felt depleted before they even started.
Preparation isn’t bad—but overpreparation is often a sign of self-doubt.
To shift this:
Give yourself a set time limit for prep and stick to it.
Remind yourself that the real coaching happens in the conversation, not in the notes you write beforehand.
Notice where you might be holding on too tightly to how a session “should” go instead of meeting your client where they are.
Less overpreparing, more presence. That’s where real trust (and better coaching) begins.
Mistake #2: Trying to Convince Your Clients
Early on in my coaching career, I thought part of my job was getting my clients to believe in change as much as I did.
If they seemed unsure, I’d explain a little more. If they weren’t entirely convinced, I’d double down on why they should care. I spent way too much energy trying to make them see what was possible for them.
Here’s what I learned the hard way: If I was convincing, I was working too hard.
Coaching works best when the client is ready to take ownership of their growth when I stopped trying to “sell” my clients on their own transformation. Instead, I:
Showed up more neutrally, which gave them space to come to their own insights.
Let go of feeling responsible for their motivation or results.
Felt more confident in my ability to meet them where they were.
If you catch yourself working harder than your client, pause and ask: Why am I so attached to them seeing this right now? What am I making it mean about me if they don’t?
The best shifts happen when the client—not the coach—decides they’re ready.
Mistake #3: People-Pleasing in Your Coaching Sessions
So many new coaches (my past self included) feel a subtle but powerful pressure to make their clients feel good.
We soften our questions.
We avoid letting the silence stretch too long.
We choose words carefully to make sure our clients are comfortable.
Of course, coaching is built on kindness and care. But coaching isn’t about keeping people comfortable—it’s about helping them grow.
Some of my most meaningful client breakthroughs happened in moments when I:
Asked something that made them pause and really think.
Let them sit in their discomfort without rushing in to rescue them.
Trusted that their transformation didn’t have to happen on my timeline.
If you notice yourself holding back, ask: Am I protecting their comfort or supporting their growth?
You can be kind, compassionate, and direct. You don’t have to choose.
More Trust in Yourself
If you’ve been overworking, overthinking, or overcompensating in your coaching… you are not alone.
This week, take a look at where you might be making coaching harder than it needs to be.
Where can you trust yourself more?
Next week, we’ll explore two more coaching habits that slow client breakthroughs—and how to shift into coaching with more ease. Stay tuned!
