Are You Overcoaching? These 5 Signs Might Surprise You
This week’s newsletter is for the coaches in the community, and even if you’re not a coach, you’ll likely find some strategies to make communication in your relationships more effective.
One of the most significant shifts I help life coaches make—whether in private mentorship or inside the Golden Coaching Certification—is learning that less coaching often leads to better coaching.
It’s easy to think that offering more insights, asking more questions, or guiding clients more rigidly will help them get better results. But sometimes, doing too much actually slows them down.
Here are five sneaky ways you might be overcoaching—without even realizing it (and what to do instead).
1. Filling the Silence Too Quickly
That moment of silence after you ask a powerful question? That’s where the magic happens. But if you jump in too fast to clarify or reframe, you interrupt their internal process.
➡️ What to do instead: I teach a simple but powerful practice of holding space for your client and yourself—which means getting comfortable with silence and allowing them to process at their own pace. It’s one of the fastest ways to deepen your coaching presence.
2. Asking Too Many Questions at Once
Coaching isn’t about rapid-fire questioning. When we over-question, we pull clients out of their own wisdom and into our agenda. Instead, slow down. Ask one question at a time and let them explore it fully before moving on.
➡️ What to do instead: One thing I work on with my clients is question discipline—learning to ask fewer, more impactful questions so clients stay connected to their own insights rather than feeling like they’re being "interviewed."
3. Overexplaining or “Teaching” Instead of Coaching
It’s tempting to share everything you know—especially when you’re excited about the coaching process and the possibilities ahead. However, the best coaching happens when clients have space to process and integrate their own insights.
➡️ What to do instead: When you notice this happening in a session, shift from teacher mode back to listening mode. Give the client a moment to process what’s been shared, and invite them to tell you what they need or where they’d like to take the session. Follow their lead.
4. Trying to Make the Session Feel “Valuable” with More Content
A powerful session isn’t about how much ground you cover—it’s about how deeply your client connects with what’s unfolding. If you feel the urge to pack a session with techniques, tools, or frameworks to make it feel “worth it,” check in with yourself.
➡️ What to do instead: Golden Certified Coaches learn to trust client-led coaching—where impact isn’t measured by volume, but by depth. When you trust the process, your clients do too. And that’s when real transformation happens.
5. Helping Too Much with Their Next Steps
Clients don’t need perfectly mapped-out action steps from you. They need to build the muscle of self-trust. If you’re habitually guiding them toward the “right” next step instead of letting them decide, you might be over-directing their process.
➡️ What to do instead: I teach coaches how to help clients self-source their next steps so they feel confident and capable long after the session ends. When you stop over-helping, your clients become more empowered decision-makers.
The Bottom Line: Coaching Is About Trust
The less we try to control the process, the more our clients step into their own power.
So here’s your challenge for this week: Notice where you might be overcoaching. Where can you do less and trust more?
If you’re ready to master the skills that help you coach with more ease, impact, and confidence, I’d love to help.
Hit reply and let me know—have you noticed these patterns in your coaching? Does it feel challenging to coach in a new way? Let’s talk about how to shift this so your sessions feel lighter and more effective.
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
