Lights, Camera, Self-Doubt Drama

If you’ve seen me on social media lately, you’ve likely watched me in a reel or two.

These reels are video snippets from my life—me digging up Dahlia tubers, writing in my journal, making a smoothie, dancing around to a song in my head—while I share how I can help coaches struggling with self-doubt and lack of confidence.

I’m committed to filming these videos daily.

Not because I love them.

Absolutely not.

Whenever I think about making a new video, my body flushes with insecurity, fear, and worry.

I feel awful.

My brain tries desperately to talk me out of it, to paint a picture of the worst possible things happening (which usually include me being left alone, abandoned by everyone I love, while all the strangers laugh at me.)

And I record a short video every day anyway.

Despite my brain's protests and my body's widely uncomfortable emotions, I set up the tripod and hit record.

Why, you might wonder.

I wonder, too, sometimes. Believe me.

Why am I putting myself through this?

Because I, too, am a person with self-doubt.

I struggle with exactly the same thing my clients grapple with.

And I don’t want to stay stuck in the struggle.

The stuckness actually feels worse.

It’s days and days of actually doing nothing to serve others, just spending all that time in my brain anticipating everything that could go wrong.

The worst!

So, I’ve decided to commit to taking small daily actions that help me be present with my self-doubt instead of using it as a permission slip to stay paralyzed in fear of what could go wrong.

When I first started 30 days ago, nothing about this was easy.

The truth is that I wanted to quit before I even started.

But now I am so grateful that I didn’t.

The insecurity, fear, and worry are still there, although now, it’s less intense.

I’m also experiencing playfulness, embarrassment, and joy.

Unexpected and wonderful by-products from doing something hard.

Yeah, I just said that embarrassment is a wonderful by-product, and I mean it.

There is something so liberating about being willing to feel embarrassed to deliver a message that might help one person.

I didn’t expect that.

I’m very aware that daily reels will not take my self-doubt away.

Self-doubt will continue presenting itself in my life for the rest of my life.

I will not outrun it.

Instead, I’ve decided to meet it head-on, one video at a time.

What could you do this week to be with your self-doubt in a new way?

How could you meet it head-on so that it is no longer something that stops you?

What could be possible 30 days from now with this new approach?

With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.