The Self-Protection Solution

Self-protection can come in many forms.

Alarm systems for our houses.

Boundaries created for certain family members.

Setting a timer to limit the amount of doom scrolling we’ll allow ourselves.

There’s another type of self-protection that I believe we could all take more seriously.

That’s protection from our negative thinking.

I won’t suggest the solution is magical thinking or toxic positivity.

And I’m definitely not going to deny those moments when we can’t even access our thinking because our brains have gone offline and we are experiencing an activated nervous system.

Instead, I want us to focus on those moments that we stand in front of the mirror in the morning, and before we even realize it, we’ve already come up with 8-10 crappy things to think about ourselves.

When we sit down to create, write, coach, or post, all we can hear inside our heads are all the reasons that we shouldn’t do what we are about to do, no one will care, or it won’t make a difference.

Or those moments when we’re dreaming big, setting goals, and creating an exciting vision for our future, and we diminish the possibility in an instant because we can only think of all the things that won’t work, how we’ll be judged, and what could go wrong.

Negative thinking strikes again.

Ruining the start of our day in the bathroom mirror to squashing our goals in a random moment of daydreaming.

It’s so frustrating.

And, very painful.

What if there was a way that we could create some self-protection against these painful thoughts?

The good news is that there is.

And it’s simple.

We can tell ourselves that we will not think about it.

That sounds easy, but how do we actually do this?

The first step is just to be aware as we stare at ourselves in the mirror or sit down at our computers to write and post, to notice that our brain is making meaning of what it is experiencing.

Our brains write a story that is separate from who we are.

And precisely because of this separateness, we can see and opt out of negative thinking.

Here’s what my negative mirror story sounded like.

“I can’t believe how fast my grey roots are growing out now.”

“Oh my god, I look even older this morning than I did yesterday.”

“What is actually happening to the skin on my neck?”

“Middle age…my demise has begun.”

Brutal, critical, flaw-focused thoughts that I am allowing to run without question.

Impacting my mood, my outlook on the day, and my future.

Until I remembered that I was allowing my brain to create a story based on inputs, and this particular story was causing me harm.

It was time for some self-protection from my own mind.

As I mentioned before, it wasn’t about replacing those thoughts with the opposite or thoughts that I couldn’t believe.

No, it was just about deciding not to think this about myself when I looked in the mirror.

I focused on seeing the separateness of my thinking from me.

I let my mind wander to other things.

Each time a negative thought about my appearance tried to hijack my brain, I said, “No, not today.”

As I write this now, I’d love to tell you that I’ve permanently banished my negative thinking, but I can’t because that’s impossible.

We humans will always be confronted with our negative thinking.

I can, however, happily share that it’s reduced.

The self-protection plan is helping.

Especially in the morning when I look in the mirror or sit down to create something new for my clients.

For that, I am grateful. And I’ll keep on protecting.

Where could you benefit from a little negative thought self-protection this week?

With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.