When My Confidence Hit Rock Bottom

I want to share more about my coaching journey with you so you can get to know me better and perhaps learn from my lessons if you’re going through something similar.

And if you’re not a coach, you’ll likely relate to my story also because self-doubt is something many of us struggle with.

The moment I started experiencing a life-altering transformation at 45 years old after working with a life coach, I knew I was destined to become one myself.

Every aspect of my life was changing (for the better), and I wanted more than anything to help others experience the same thing.

I started my coaching business in March 2015 without formal training or certification, just three years of being a client, and massive determination.

My passion for personal transformation was like rocket fuel.

I put myself out there.

I told everyone I was a life coach.

I shared my transformation story with anyone who would listen.

I hosted four-person workshops in my home on Sunday mornings, attended brown bag lunch networking events, and set up a booth at Maine Yoga Fest.

I signed clients and made money.

I was thrilled, and I was living my DREAM LIFE!

I started reading coaching how-to books, listening to podcasts, and researching certifications.

I went to coach training in early 2016 and devoured the curriculum materials.

I was so hungry for coaching tools, session guidelines, and worksheets.

And then my confidence tanked.

It took a severe nosedive.

So did my income.

I made less money in 2016 than in eight months of 2015 and even less in 2017.

I was so ashamed. 

I didn't understand what was happening.

I seriously contemplated going back to my corporate job.

I never in a million years expected to feel less sure of myself after certification than before.

It wasn't until a few years later, while working for the school that trained me, that I started to understand what had happened to my confidence in those early years because I could see the exact same thing happening to some other coaches.

They, like me, got overwhelmed with all the training tools and techniques.

They were so excited that they tried to learn everything as fast as possible through over-consumption.

Next, they fell into the sticky trap of believing that there’s only one “right way” to coach and become paralyzed with fear that they’d screw it up when they finally had a real client.

Finally, they became hyper-fixated on external validation, comparing themselves to other coaches and always looking outside of themselves for approval on their coaching technique, offer, pricing, website, etc.

Getting sucked into believing that they should be further along, have more clients, and have more success. Then, they beat themselves up for it and used those amazing coaching tools against themselves.

In my five and a half years working at the school, I was fortunate enough to be exposed to thousands of students and certified coaches. 

I got a front-row seat for their journeys.

While I hated to see so many of them making it unnecessarily harder for themselves, it did provide an incredible opportunity to observe these behavior patterns.

I saw what got in the way of coaches who struggled with self-doubt (over-consuming, perfectionism, and compare & despair).

And I saw what confident coaches had in common.

I could even see which coaches would develop sustaining coaching confidence even before they could see it themselves.

This knowledge allowed me to finally feel deep compassion for the 2016 and 2017 versions of myself, who became intimidated by the tools, questioned my abilities, compared myself to everyone else, and was deep in shame.

And that compassion became a new kind of rocket fuel for me.

I kindly investigated my self-doubt, gently excavated the root causes, upgraded my belief systems, doubled down on my intuition, and carefully implemented new supportive practices that I knew worked for me. 

My coaching confidence started to soar.

I feel so grateful for all I have been through and learned.

It motivates me to help as many coaches as I can believe deeply in themselves, trust their wisdom and instincts, and treat themselves impeccably.

For the past 5 years (and counting), I've guided coaches in breaking negative self-doubt patterns and stepping unapologetically into sustaining confidence.

Because I’ve been there and seen what self-doubt and shame cost us.

The world needs us to figure this out.

To ditch trying to be perfect and right all the time.

To stop waiting for external validation and over-qualifying ourselves.

To start using confidence as rocket fuel to show up and serve.

You ready?

With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.